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Wednesday, December 28th, 2005
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4:11 pm
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This quiz has 99 questions. Here's what you're supposed to do... and DON'T spoil the fun. Copy, (not forward), this entire bulletin and paste it onto a new bulletin that you will send. Change all the answers so that they apply to you.
The theory is that you will learn a lot of little known facts about those who know you.
1. What time is it? 4:11 pm
2. Name as it appears on birth certificate? Diana Lerner
3. Nickname(s): duckie
5. Single or taken?: single
6. Zodiac sign: sag
7. Hair Color: blonde
8. Eye color: blue/grey
9. Height and age: 5'8", 19 years old
10. Shoe size: 8
11. Glasses, contacts or neither? glasses
12. Braces? at one point in time
13. Tattoos? naw
14. Birthplace: brooklyn new york
15. Current residence: Old bridge NJ, but not for long....
16. Siblings(') name(s) and age(s): Turtles-10
****HAVE YOU EVER******
17. Gotten super wasted? yes sir
18. Gotten so drunk you don't remember what happened? yeah i have
19. Drank 5 liters of soda in 2 hours? no...
20. Had an Irish carbomb? surprisingly no...but i kno what it is
21. Skipped school by peer pressure? heh guilty as charged
22. Bungee jumped? nope
23. Kissed someone not related to you 30 years older than you? nope
24. Kissed someone of the same age not related to you? yep
25. Made out in the movies? hmm not tht i recall...oh wait scratch tht yeah i have
26. Hit your head somewhere and been knocked out? no
27. TP'd someone's house? nope
28. Won something of value? no
29. Asked a stranger out? no
30. Been rejected by someone? yup
31. Been in love with someone who didnt know it? no
32. Been to over 5 funerals? no
33. Used a lighter? hehe lighter
34. Been on stage? yup
****FAVORITE******
36. Ice cream flavor: chocolate devotion, no fudge, sliced almonds instead
37. Store for clothes: too many
38. School subject(s): THEATER, FILM, philosophy, and english
39. Breakfast cereal: Toucan sam is my man
40. Number: 2
41. Book and why: kingdom of dreams, the perfect love story
42. Horror Movie: Nightmare of Elm street, Freddie is the man
43. Candy: swedish fish, peanut butter m and m's, hersheys bar with almonds (thts my fav)
44. Soda: coke- cherry or vanilla
45. Color(s): baby blue
46. Vacation spot(s): mexico
47. Sport to watch on TV: i dunno, i dun watch sports on tv
48. Sport to play: badmitton
49. Fruit: Peach- the juicy kind
50. Sound: i don't really have one
51. Fast food restaurant: Yo Quiero Taco Bell
52. Cartoon Character(s): Stewie
53. Holiday: Hmm Original stevie, i'll have to agree
54. Name for a boy: I swear this was before i've even met him, but i've always liked the name Matthew or Ryan
55. Name for a girl: Alexandra
******DO YOU PREFER******
56. Chocolate, strawberry or vanilla? vanilla
58. Long relationships or one night stands? Long relationships
59. Dogs or cats or horses? oo toughie...both dogs nd horses
60. Comedies or scary movies? a little of both
61. Silver or gold? white gold.
62 Croutons or bacon bits? croutons
******THINGS THAT COME TO MIND******
63. Potato: chip
64. Tomato: potato
65. School: done
66. Grass: green
67. Cow: mooooo
69. Mouse: squeek
70. Hand: that rocks the cradle rules the world
*****THE PAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU*****
71. Watched a movie? yup
72. Talked on the phone? yea
73. Cried? naw
74. Threw up? naw
75. Drank a glass of water? yup
76. Gone to the bathroom? yup
77. Read a book or magazine? book
78. Watched TV? no
79. looked in the mirror? yup
80. Taken a shower? yup
81. Taken a picture? no
82. Listened to music? yup
83. Hugged or kissed someone? yup
84. Done your homework? no
85. Told someone you loved them? yup
***DO YOU BELIEVE IN....******
86. Heaven? ?
87. A one true love? "once upon a time i did"
88. Aliens? absolutly not
89. Fun for the entire family? yea
91. Love? hopefully
92. Miracles? sure
*******SOME RANDOM STUFF******
93. Last movie you saw in theatre: the producers
94. Are you listening to music right now? no
95. What color shirt are you wearing? white
96. Do you like your middle name? I don't have one :-( i am a sad individual
97. What is the best thing since sliced bread? THE SIMS
98. What color is your backpack? tan
99. What was the last concert you were at? Madonna
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, October 27th, 2005
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2:57 pm
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I miss the good ol' days!!!
Body: dy: Before the Internet or Text messaging...
Before the shots and joints
Before Sidekicks & Ipods
Before Playstation3 or X-BOX 360
Before the 5 hours of homework you put off every night...
When gas was $0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing...
When we recorded stuff on VCRs & paid $3.50 for a movie...
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off our WALKMANS!!!
The farthest you'd go with your girl was to hold her hand or give her a hug
When money wasnt an issue.....
When you didnt have to worry about getting a job.....
***Way back...
Tag
I'm talkin' bout hide and go seek at dusk!
Red light, Green light!
Heads up 7 up!
Playing kickball & dodgeball until your porch light came on.
Hopskotch!
Mother May I?
Red Rover
four square
Hula Hoops
Running through the sprinkler
Happy Meals where u chose a Barbie or a Hot Wheels car
Getting the privelage to sit in the front seat of the car
***Wait...
.... TGIF on Friday nights with Family Matters(aka Urkel) and Full House
....Watchin' Saturday Morning cartoons
& Price is Right...
...Hey Arnold and Doug, RUGRATS!
Gullah Gullah Island
The Original Power Rangers!
Or what about... Legends of the Hidden Temple!!!
The Mysteries of Shelby WOO!
Ren and Stimpy
Global Guts!!
Double Dare!!!
Rocko's Modern Life!
Thundercats
Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers
DuckTales
Smurfs
SUPER MARIO show..
AAAHH!! Real Monsters!!!
Wild & Crazy Kids!
ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK!
My Cousin Skeeter
The Original 'All That' Cast Members!
Pete and Pete!
My Brother and Me!!
Kenan and Kel!!! (who loves orange soda haha)
SALUTE YOUR SHORTSS
Who could forget Snick?!
& Nick at Nite! with Bewitched, The Brady Bunch, I Dream of Jeanie, facts of life & I LOVE LUCY!!!
& every1 wanted to be in love after watching THE WONDER YEARS!
***Not finished yet...
Kool-Aid was the drink of the summer
Giving your friends a ride on your handlebars or spokes
Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school
Class Field Trips
3rd base was on the baseball field, not in the bedroom
When Christmas time was the most EXCITING time of the year!
When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there.
When getting high was swinging on the swingset
When $5 seemed like a million, and another dollar a Miracle.
When you begged to go to McDonalds, for dinner...EVERYDAY.
When Toys r Us overuled the "mall"
***Go back to the time when...
nobody had cable & people watched THE BOX on channel 25 & called & paid to watch music videos!!!!
Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-moe"
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!"
"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.
Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "monopoly"
It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.
Being old, referred to anyone over 20.
The chance to couple skate at Skate City was like winning the lottery....
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties.
Nobody was prettier than Mom
Nobody was cooler than Dad
Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better
It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at the fair...
Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.
If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!!!
if you missed thesse memories you had a childhood
Post this to your bulletin if you remember these days, these days when you had a blast being a kid!
i TRIPLE dog dare you.......
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Thursday, September 1st, 2005
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7:37 pm - survey
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1. steve
2. liza
3. tina
4. sam
5. matt
6. jason
7. jess
8. seth
9. lorraine
10. eugene
11. samantha
12. michael
13. nina
14. john
15. tommy
16. john
17. dana
18. elyse
19. lauren
20. andrea
How did you meet ..13?
through my mom
What would you do if you never met ..5?
honestly i prolly wouldn't be as sad as i am now, it might have been better not to know him
What do you honestly think of ..10?
i wish he'd ask me out
Would or did 19..and 8 date?
no, they'd make a bad couple and jess would kill lauren
Have you ever liked ..3?
i def have the HOTS for three, i'd bang her right now
If ..1 died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would need him/her to know?
reassurance tht he'll do fine in life
Would ..2 and ..11 make a good couple?
they played a couple in a play...perhaps if they were lesbians?
Describe ..7 in 3 words:
true-friend(1 word), cool, nice
Do you think ..12 is cute?
the cutest turt in town
Would ..1 and ..17 make a lovely couple?
17 seems to think so...
What do you think when you see ..8?
they're so cute together
Tell me something humiliating about ..11?
she played a man once
Do you know any of ..3's family members?
yes
What's ..20's favorite color?
blue??/
What would you do if ..4 just professed their undying love for you?
haha prolly say so a dick can't cut it nemore huh
What language does ..19 speak?
english
Who is ..8 going out with ?
jess
Is ..9 a boy or a girl?
girl
Would ..18 and ..4 make a good couple?
i thought four wants me....
What grade is ..17 in?
2nd yr college
When was the last time you talked to ..12?
two minutes ago
What is ..3's favorite band?
nsync
Does .. 1 have any siblings?
a sister
Would you ever date ..6?
in a heartbeat
Would you ever date ..7?
no
Is ..19 single?
no
What is ..15s last name?
i dunno
What is ..5's middle name?
alfred hahaha
What is ..10's fantasy
i pray tht its me
Would ..14 and ..19 make a good couple?
no
What school does ..16 go to?
brookdale
What school does ..1 go to?
rowan
Where does ..9 live?
new brunswick
Would you make out with ..13?
no
Are ..5 and ..6 best friends?
no
How did you meet ..17?
through liza
Is ..12 older than you?
nope
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, May 27th, 2005
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8:53 am - finally free from the shackles that have enslaved my soul
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Wow i never realized how amazing closure could be. How is it possible that for a year you can keep thinking about that one someone and missing them so much and when you see them, you feel nothing but disapointment and shock. I saw nelson yesterday and don't get me wrong he was still as hott as he was before but what i saw in him last night was not at all what i saw in him before. Last night i finally saw him for what he was, an asshole who just wants to get ass from everyone. He's stupid as hell and although he is still a nice guy he is completley strange and has no sensitivity to people's feelings. Like last night as soon as he walked in the door like there was no taken aback or my heart quickining it's beat it's just like oh its you. Than through out the whole night he was trying to get with elyse which didn't at all make me jealous surprisingly, i thought it was rather fucked up, but i was more disgusted than anything because he "has a gf", it was kinda like dude keep it in your pants. I mean i could see how charming he was because the charm hadn't disapeared and it was almost as if she was like a conquest of some sort, he devoted all of his time, patience, and attention into her. It was interesting to watch him do to someone else what he did to me. It's kinda hard to see past his intentions because they are all very well hidden behind this facade of hand holding and just cuddling next to her when she was trying to sleep. I don't know maybe he did like her and i told her that she shoulda hooked up with him, that i wouldn't care, and i truly wouldn't. but she was like no he's weird and he has a gf. it's ironic though that he just happens to like every girl when he has a gf, hey i suppose if he can get away with it than power to him for it. In anycase i conclude this entry on a happy note because i used to feel bad bout breaking up with him when he finally left mira to be with me, but as usual everything happens for a reason and now i am completley happy with my decision and i could not have asked for anything more. I am glad that i finally saw his true colors.
current mood:  content
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, May 11th, 2005
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11:58 pm
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Jamie is over and Jamie is gone
Jamie's decided it's time to move on
Jamie has new dreams he's building upon
And I'm still hurting
Jamie arrived at the end of the line
Jamie's convinced that the problems are mine
Jamie is probably feeling just fine
And I'm still hurting
What about lies, Jamie?
What about things
That you swore to be true
What about you, Jamie
What about you
Jamie is sure something wonderful died
Jamie decides it's his right to decide
Jamie's got secrets he doesn't confide
And I'm still hurting
Go and hide and run away
Run away, run and find something better
Go and ride the sun away
Run away like it's simple
Like it's right...
Give me a day, Jamie
Bring back the lies
Hang them back on the wall
Maybe I'd see
How you could be
So certain that we
Had no chance at all
Jamie is over and where can I turn?
Covered with scars I did nothing to earn
Maybe there's somewhere a lesson to learn
But that wouldn't change the fact
That wouldn't speed the time
Once the foundation's cracked
And I'm
Still Hurting
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, May 5th, 2005
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8:38 am
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8:37 am
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"I gave you my music,
made your song take wing
and now how you've repayed me
denied me and betrayed me
he was bound to love you
when he heard you sing."
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(comment on this)
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8:34 am
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"I used to dream that i would meet a prince
but god almighty have you seen whats happened since?
Master of the house isn't worth my spit
comforter, philosopher, and life long shit,
cunning little brain, regular voltaire
thinks he's quite a lover
but there's not much there
what a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a louse
god knows how i've lasted living with this bastard in the house"
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Thursday, April 28th, 2005
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11:53 pm
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"How strange this feeling that my life's begun at last
this change can people really fall in love so fast?
what's the matter with you cossette have you been too much on your own?
so many things unclear, so many things unknown"
-les miserables
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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11:49 pm
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"Ok so it's five am
and i still can't sleep
Took some medicine
and it's not working
someone's clinging to me
and it's bittersweet
cause its head over heels
but it ain't that deep."
-Mariah Carey
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, April 26th, 2005
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2:39 pm
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Diana: Turt, the kids don't make fun of you that you can't hit the ball do they?
Turtles: No they aren't viscious
Diana: (laughing) where'd you get that word from
Turtles: daddy said viscious means nasty...so they aren't nasty to me meaning they aren't viscious
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, April 25th, 2005
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2:07 pm
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"lesbian...
I should be a lesbian
If i was born to love women
how wonderously sane i would be"
-I love you, your perfect, now change
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, April 21st, 2005
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7:39 pm - Funny quote day 4
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Diana: (Yelling at brothers baseball game ) YEAH GO TURTLES
Little kid: which team is the turtles?
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, April 20th, 2005
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1:38 pm - day three
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| Tuesday, April 19th, 2005
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5:17 pm - funny quote day 2
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| Monday, April 18th, 2005
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5:21 pm - funny quote
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"Lesbian? I thought she was a scorpio"
-Bend it Like Beckham
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, April 7th, 2005
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2:36 pm - hell yeah...so true
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To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be they that are doing something wrong. This is for the girls who don't give it up on the first date, who don't want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they've heard a thousand times. This is for the girls who understand that they aren't perfect and that the guys they're interested in aren't either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe... maybe this time he'll have understood. This is an homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and combat boots, who care more than they should for guys who don't deserve their attention. This is for those girls who have been in the trenches, who have watched other girls time and time again fake up and make up and fuck up the guys in their lives without saying a word. This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from "there are plenty of fish in the sea," to "time heals all wounds." This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it.
This is for the girls who have never been in love, but know that it's an experience that they don't want to miss out on. For the girls who have sought a night with friends and been greeted by a night of catcalling, rude comments and explicit invitations that they'd rather not have experienced. This is for the girls who have spent their weekends sitting on the sidelines of a beer pong tournament or a case race, or playing Florence Nightingale for a vomiting guy friend or a comatose crush, who have received a drunk phone call just before dawn from someone who doesn't care enough to invite them over but is still willing to pass out in their bed. This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint only to watch him chase after the first blonde girl in a skirt. This is for the girls who have been told that they're too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.
This one's for the girls who you can take home to mom, but won't because it's easier to sleep with a whore than foster a relationship; this is for the girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, or never real to begin with. This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart and bed, only to discover that he's just not ready, he's just not over her, he's just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that they don't want you, it's that they don't want anyone. This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you've returned home alone, for the nights when you've seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he's with to be a random hookup. This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn't that he didn't want a relationship: it was that he didn't want you. I honor you for the night his dog died or his grandmother died or his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, or rubbed his back in the right way then perhaps he'd realize what it was that he already had. This is for the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.
This is for the "I really like you, so let's still be friends" comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep. This is for the hugs you've received from your female friends, for the nights they've reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy; this is for the despair you all felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you'd have was with a pillow and your teddy bear. This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we've believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we'd have ever wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisified with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who don't think that they deserve more, because they've been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys.
This is what I don't understand. Men sit and question and whine that girls are only attracted to the mean guys, the guys who berate them and belittle them and don't appreciate them and don't want them; who use them for sex and think of little else than where their next conquest will be made. Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful; men despair that no good women want to share in their lives, that girls play mindgames, that girls love to keep them hanging. Yet, men, I ask you: were you to meet one of these genuinely interested, thrillingly compelling, interesting and intelligent and sweet and beautiful and smart girls, were you to give her your number and wait for her to call... and if you were to receive a call from her the next day and she, in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straightforward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intriguing and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material from which she could fashion a boyfriend, would you or would you not immediately call your friends to tell them of the "stalker chick" you'd met the night prior, who called you and wore her heart on her sleeve and told the truth? And would you, or would you not, refuse to make plans with her, speak with her, see her again, and once again return to the bar or club or party scene and search once more for this "nice girl" who you just cannot seem to find? Because therein lies the truth, guys: we nice girls are everywhere. But you're not looking for a nice girl. You're not looking for someone genuinely interested in your intermural basketball game, or your anatomy midterm grade, or that argument you keep having with your father; you're looking for a quick fix, a night when you can pretend to have a connection with another human being which is just as disposable as the condom you were using during it.
So don't say you're on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. Sometimes we go undercover; sometimes we go in disguise: sometimes when that girl in the low cut shirt or the too tight miniskirt won't answer your catcalls, sometimes you're looking at a nice girl in whore's clothing - - we might say we like the attention, we might blush and giggle and turn back to our friends, but we're all thinking the same thing: "This isn't me. Tomorrow morning, I'll be wearing a teeshirt and flannel shorts, I'll have slept alone and I'll be making my hungover best friend breakfast. See through the disguise. See me." You never do. Why? Because you only see the exterior, you only see the slutty girl who welcomes those advances. You don't want the nice girl.. so don't say you're looking for a relationship: relationships take time and energy and intent, three things we're willing to extend - - but in return, we're looking for compassion and loyalty and trust, three things you never seem willing to express. Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they're running they're chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-targets... the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congradulatory hug (and yes, if she's a nice girl and she likes you, the sweatiness probably won't matter), hoping against hope that maybe you'll realize that they're the ones that you want at the end of that silly race.
So maybe it won't last forever. Maybe some of those guys in that race will turn in their running shoes and make their way to the concession stand where we're waiting; however, until that happens, we still have each other, that silly race to watch, and all the chocolate we can eat (because what's a concession stand at a race without some chocolate?)
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, April 6th, 2005
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8:06 pm - if you actually read my journal fill it out...
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WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF...
» I committed suicide:
» I said I liked you:
» I kissed you:
» I lived next door to you:
» I started smoking:
» I stole something:
» I was hospitalized:
» I ran away from home:
» I got into a fight and you weren't there:
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY..?
» Personality:
» Eyes:
» Face:
» Hair:
» Clothes:
» Mannerisms:
[1] Who are you?
[2] Are we friends?
[3] When and how did we meet?
[4] How have I affected you?
[5] What do you think of me?
[6] What's the fondest memory you have of me?
[7] How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
[8] Do you love me?
[9] Have I ever hurt you?
[10] Would you hug me?
[11] Would you kiss me?
[12] Would you fuck me?
[13] Are we close?
[14] Emotionally, what stands out?
[15] Do you wish I was cooler?
[16] On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?
[17] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
[18] Am I loveable?
[19] How long have you known me?
[20] Describe me in one word.
[21] What was your first impression?
[22] Do you still think that way about me now?
[23] What do you think my weakness is?
[24] Do you think I'll get married?
[25] What about me makes you happy?
[26] What about me makes you sad?
[27] What reminds you of me?
[28] What's something you would change about me?
[29] How well do you know me?
[30] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
[31] Do you think I would kill someone?
[32] Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005
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4:29 pm - sorry i couldn't resist
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A - Age you got your first kiss: 14
B - Band listening to right now: not anything right now, but i was listening to scatman a few minutes ago.
C - Crush: sadly none currently although i wish i had a crush on someone or someone amazing had a crush on me than i wouldn;t have to be in this miserable situation.
D- Dad's name: stanley
E - Easiest person to talk to: steve
F - Favorite band at the moment? eh none i listen to evertything
G - gummy worms or gummy bears?: bears
H - Hometown: old bridge
I - Instruments: wish i played the drums...
J- Joints smoked: dun remember how many per say definatley less than ten
K- kids : i want twins a little boy and a girl and one more child the sex on that one has yet to be determined its been recently that i have been contemplating this third child.
L - Longest car ride ever: ugh tht million hour car ride from brooklyn when tht truck flipped over
M - Mom's name: Nelya
N - Nicknames: duckie
O - One wish: to find tht amazing love
P - Phobia[s]: spiders i dunno how to spell it aracnophobia???
Q - Quote:
"Rain is something that must be shared. There's nothing cozier than seeking shelter from the rain with someone you love. But there's nothing lonelier than having to endure it alone." Sandra Brown
R - Reason to smile: perfect moments
S - Song you sang last: scatman
T - Time you woke up: 8 eww
u - Unknown fact about me: i used to be a hair chewer when i was a kid
V - Vegetable you hate: too many to even begin to name
W - Worst habit(s): nail biting, being blunt, forgiving pple too quickly
X - X-rays you've had: teeth and finger
Y - Yummy food: thai, japanese, russian, american, so many yummy foods lets not forget chocolate and ice cream.
Z - Zodiac sign: sagitarius
Nervous Habits?: biting nails, pacing
Are you double jointed?: yuo
Can you do weird things with tongue?: no, but i can fit my fist in my mouth
Can you raise one eyebrow at a time?: yeah
Can you blow spit bubbles?: yup
Can you cross your eyes?: yup
Tattoos?: none
Piercings and where?: none
Do you make your bed daily?: most of the time
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU -
Took a shower?: this morning
Cried?: while back
Talked on the phone?: half an hour ago
Read a book?: currently
Punched Someone?: not since i was five
Had sex?: summer
Talked dirty?: dun remember prolly not to long ago
Which shoe goes on first?: right usually.
Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone?: nope never
What jewelry do you wear 24/7?: ring, neckalace, and watch
Favorite Piece of Clothing: T-SHIRTS
Pajamas: monkey pj pants or nelsons because they are comfy and a tshirt
Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?: twirl.
Have you ever eaten Spam?: no
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: Chocolate devotion at cold stone
How many cereals in your cabinet?: too many to even count
What's your favorite beverage?: alcoholic ones ofcourse
What's your favorite restaurant?: paulines
Do you cook?: occasionally
How long does your shower last?: generally bout 15 min
Hair drying method: towel dry
Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair?: yup
Do you paint your nails?: yup
Do you swear?: yes
Do you ever spit?: no
FAVORITE -
Animal: dog, horse, panther
Food: i dun really know
Month: july
Day: friday
Cartoon: family guy
Shoe Brand: dun have one
Subject in school: english
Color: baby blue
Sport: badmitton
Tv show: american idol
Thing to do in Spring: meet someone
Thing To Do In The Summer: have a wild affair
Thing To Do In Autumn: go to the park
Thing To Do In The Winter: play in the snow
Game: hmm thts a toughy
Person you talk most on the phone with: diana.
Ever taken a cab?: yup
Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows and mirrors?: yup, although i dun need to, i know i look good lol
What color is your bedroom?: pink/purple
Do you use an alarm clock?: yup
Window seat or aisle?: window
What's your sleeping position? side or belly
Even in hot weather do you use a blanket?: not a blanket per say most non russians describe it as a huge towel
Do you snore?: no unless i'm really sick and stuffy
Do you sleepwalk?: no
Do you talk in your sleep?: yes
Do you sleep with a stuffed animals?: umm not really but i do sleep with bearsy
Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on?: no unless i am scared
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, March 3rd, 2005
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1:31 pm
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"What's the point in ever trying your nothing changes anyway" - goo goo dolls.
Here i sit in the pathetic computer lab, fighting back tears reminding myself that strong people don't cry. I feel as if i'm gunna be sick, throwing up definatley feels like an option. i'm so sick of failing everything in my god damn life, nothing ever turns out the way its supposed to, maybe i can just faint or go into a comma how sweet would it be to just sleep for a few days and be oblivious to everything that is going on. I think the only thing that could possibly make today worse is for me to screw up my midterm dates and have the Chaucer midterm be today, i'm so sick of being told how i'm not good enough, but it just hurts even more when i know its true. Today i got my anthropology test back, the test that i studied sooo fuckin hard for, i got a c. Not only does it hurt that i gave it my all and as usual my all wasn't good enough, i wish i had some one to turn to someone that would hug me and say that it was ok, but no such person exists in my life, i only have people who are too far away and wrapped up in their own lives to care that mine is slowly becoming more of a disapointment each and every day. I called my mom hah she wonders why i lie to her, but little does she know that lying saves me from her dreadful and hurtful words, lying makes me good in her eyes just for a day. Who am i kidding i'm not good in anybody's eyes, just a fuck up in every way nobody wants me, can't really say i blame them. She tells me that if i drop this class and keep dropping classes i'll never graduate, she also tells me that i might as well change my major because i'll never be a teacher. Why do i even bother dreaming, i'll never get anywhere in life, i'm not good enough to be a teacher, i'm not good enough to be loved, i'm not god damn good enough for anything. As i pour my emotions out its getting harder and harder to prevent myself from crying but i know that i can do it, in another four hours i will be in the safety of my room and than i can let the tears fall but never before that, my parents don't deserve me, they deserve someone whose smart and can give them their moneys worth of education it don't even look like i can finish college with anything higher than a 2.34, i really think i'm gunna be sick, why is there no one to talk to, no one to care, no one to reassure me that things will be alright and actually have me believe it, how i wish i lived in the earlier times where women were not at all independent how nice it would be for me not to have to worry about ever finding a man and never have to deal with the pressures of college, and perhaps than i can make my mother proud and not be the disapointment in her life, at least she's got her sweet, smart, and talented Michael to make her proud. Why am I so hopeless?
current mood:  crushed
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